Let me emphasize, your posts are not at all selfish. I'll explain.

You might imagine this is just metamorphosis, alright?

moth to butterfly- you are in the cocoon now, and you are free to choose which of the two you will emerge as.

One concern I didn't state earlier is this-

You are at a critical stage- I don't meant to overdramatize this, but you are still in school (I hope).

Effectively that does mean you're gonna have to play both sides for awhile.

Most of us here on forum do have the "luxury" of being "out in the world"... and have paid our dues for it.

I think you are in limbo now-  we don't always have full control over when we come out of the cocoon.

That might be explained by your own subconscious knowing more than you do. I think the only true mistake we can make is one where we didn't listen to instinct.

If you are insecure about posting here because you feel you are of "lesser
intellect"- don't be.

There may be thousands out there- in your age group, in your situation.
The only way you'd be at all selfish is
not sharing. Someone WILL benefit..

You will be able to let go of much of what is tugging at you when the time is right.

I hate to say this but I think outwardly,
fakin it a little, and playing along will save you some grief.
And you can just smile inside, knowing the truth.

The biggest thing I think right now for me in this enlightenment is wether I stick to it.
And not let my plugged in side just overwhelm me.

I have friends not childhood friends but friends, I have a girlfriend, I'm very social, I like activities, I dont play sports but I used to.
I could have good grades if I want to, I think i've handled my plugged in life fairly well.
But now I've cane to this deep realization, where I see right through these little things.
I dosen't matter to me now if my jokes are or aren't funny, what someone said to me, what my grades are, everything is shallow.
I feel as if I don't belong in this modern world. There is always something missing here in this world right now.
What matters to me now is my spirtuality, my meditation, how I treat people, If a serve as an example.
And the plugged side hates it, it wants, it needs, it moans for attention.
So sometimes I just need to write.

I know you don't have to tell me this topic is not progressive for anyone but myself and it is selfish on my part.
But I hope that if their are any other teens, and I see teens for lack of a better word, to just push.

Things for me know are happening rapidly I come to new realizations everyday, I heal myself everyday.
Sometimes I think Im addictied to this new world of realization, and I feel that feeling bulging everytime I'm at a social gathering.
I look at all the cliques and all the wannabee's, all plugged in bull and "I'm starin' at the world through my rearview" (2pac)

Guys we need to live on. Soloflecks I've seen that book before.

Part of you wants to be unplugged, while another part is resisting every step of the way.

Slow down a bit, and just observe yourself.  You are doing just fine.

There is a natural process to awakening.  Trying to force it or push it can just cause more problems sometimes.

I know how frustrating it can be to feel like the only people who can relate to what you are going through are half-way across the country, or across the world, on a web forum somewhere.  But I think that is changing now.  Give it some time. 

You are right where you need to be.

I'm trapped, when I write, when I imagine, when I explain.
Life is like a hill for me and my thoughts are rocks rolling down.
I can only catch so much, in so much time and throw them out of my head into the world.

For better or for worse lifes a hard choice. Ever since I've been unplugging from the Matrix state of mind, I wake up to a sadder truth.
My family has fallen apart, suicide has been atempted, and It's all over bad.
My grandparents are passing away and for me drugs seem on the horizon.
I'm trying to just unplug. I've recently moved and was taken from my child hood and right now guys, I got noone to talk to.
No one that would understand what I wanna say.

While I'm trying ot process my thoughts of spirtuality and alot of things mentioned on this site,
I'm not fully unpluged and so have to face life, while half  of my half that is in real life is fighting my other fing half my other half is meditating.
That sentence is a joke, sarcasm a way to show how crazy my life is don't read it again you will explode.

Life is not boring, but stale.
Some days I'm think I'm confused others I'm happy
Like I said that only some of the rocks that have been rolling down.

I remember mabye 4-5 years ago I used to write the journals for schoolin which we had to analyze a quote.
I loved it, this plugged lady teacher person would read my journals alot of times to the class while I sit in half embarassment half pride.
I would write very imaginitive things.
Now that I remember some kids didn't like my openess but I wasn't afraid.
I had a rough childhood and now I feel it's toll I have rushes of anger and impatients.

All these heavy rocks that I wanna throw out.
I just want to unplug but without drugs or killing myself

Its hard I just need a soapbox

All you guys have really hit the nail on the head and my head has really been combobulated (whatever) with all these new ideas and facts.
I really have been battling my ownself these days and find it hard to focus but here I go.

Just a sharing -- Some really Interesting quotes from one of my favorite artists 2pac

"Don't ever change, keep your essence" "The power is in the people and politics we address" "Let's change the way we eat, let's change the way we live and let's change the way we treat each other" "It's war on the streets & the war in the Middle East Instead of war on poverty they got a war on drugs so the police can bother me"

Makes me wonder if he was just a rapper, When I turn on the radio and they play his songs it's as if that dosen't justify what his message was.
Kind of like when you go to church ( I don't know about you but for me church is like an insult to God).

"Are lifestyles be "closed captioned" "I often wish that I can save everyone but im a dreamer"