Thanks fer that, oceanchild

An admittedly negative question- I am not coming at it from a negative standpoint (no sui thoughts or anything like that I assure you- I am far beyond that point ;-)

Maybe I put too high a value on humility here and thus deny myself the confidence to be "sure" about anything.

I realize also I am still looking at things in earthly terms. I am only wise enough to know how ignorant I am.

As for stuff bothering me on a personal level- yes there is always that.
Other than not wanting to endure another New York winter- I do get a touch of that seasonal affect "disorder" I am fairly happy.

What i'm saying is: if even with the full intent of "taking flight" at that moment- as in escaping a mortal situation- something gets "stuck" and I cannot leave- yes that concerns me.

I can't really put it into words- that's the best I can do............

I've pictured myself in various scenarios, the shackle cars, the quarantines, the Stadium-turned-suburban Gitmo.

Because I must allow myself the worst possible scenario. I won't assume I've done everything "right" and afforded myself that "get-out-of-Hell- free card.

Hell-on-Earth, that is.

If and when that moment arrives- what becomes of me then?

Do I cease to exist, shocked dead- but conscious?

If all reason for being is instantly removed- if all hope one moment is lost, what becomes of me?

Is the only possible hope physical death then?

I'll reiterate- how can we really ever be certain we chose the right path?

Can spirit death come before physical death?