Beer may be substituted for milk.........

1. What do you put in a toaster?

TOAST!!

I'm thirsty.

Magenta!

Waht, the . . there . . . it's . Antartica?

I should buy a BOAT!!!

"It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test."

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the
muscles.
As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert.  The
saying; "If you don't use it, you will lose it" also applies to the
brain, so...
Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of
intelligence.

So, take the following test presented here and determine if you
are losing it or are still "with it." The spaces below are so you
don't see the answers until you have made your answer.(don't peek:)
OK, relax, clear your mind and... begin.

.....WELL MAYBE NOT THAT CLEAR!

1. What do you put in a toaster?

Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do
something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread," go
to Question 2.

2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not
attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over
stressed  and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content
yourself with reading something more appropriate such as Children's
World. If you said "water" then proceed to question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is
made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and
a black house is made from black bricks, what is a greenhouse made
from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green
bricks," what the devil are you still doing here reading these
questions????? If you said "glass," then! go on to Question 4.

4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet
over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically
divided into West Germany and East Germany.) Anyway, during the
flight,TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last
remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing
procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he has time and the
plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between
East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors?
East Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land"?

Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors.If you said ANYTHING
else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone
from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated.
If you said, "Don't bury the survivors," then proceed to the
next question.

5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from
London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the
bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on.
In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11
people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get
off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and
three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven.What was the name of
the bus driver?

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!Don't you remember your own name? It
was YOU!!

Now pass this along to all your "smart friends" and hope they do
better than you did.

PS: 95% of people fail in most of the questions!!