>> Man who run behind car get exhausted.
>> Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

>> Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
>> Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
>>Man with one chopstick go hungry.
>> Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
>> Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
>> Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
>>Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.
>> War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

>> Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
>> It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
>> Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
>> Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
>> Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
>> Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
>> Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
>> Crowded elevator smell different to midget

A young woman went to confession.  She kneeled before the priest and said, " Forgive me father for i have sinned."
The priest said "Tell me all your sins, my daughter"
She replied "last night my boyfriend made love to me seven times"
The Priest thought for a moment, then said "take seven lemons and squeeze the juice into a tall glass. Then drink it.
She asked " Will this cleanse my soul of my  sins?"
"No" the priest said, " But it will wipe that smile off your face"