Forrest responds, "It shor is good to be here , St. Peter, sir. But  nobody
ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the test
ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."                                                                               

St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.                                                     

First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?                                                                           

Second: How many seconds are there in a year?                                                                                       

Third: What is God's first name?"                                                                                                   

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees
St. Peter who waves him up and says, "Now that you have
had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."                                                                     

Forrest says, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begin with the
letter "T"? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today
and Tomorrow.                                                                                                                       

The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest, that's not what I was
thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I didn't 
specify, so I'll give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asks
St. Peter.                                           
"! How many seconds in a year?"                                                                                                     

"Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about that a nod
I guess the only answer can be twelve."               
                                                                                                                                     

Astounded, St . Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve!? Forrest, how in Heaven's name
could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"       
                                                                                                                                     

Forrest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March
2nd. . ."                                           
                                                                                                                                     

"Hold it, " interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this, and I
see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in 
mind. But I'll have to give you credit for that one, too. Let's go on with the
third and final question. Can you tell me God's first
name"?                                                                                                                               

"Sure" Forrest replied, "its Andy."                                                                                                 

"Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "Ok, I can
understand how you came up with your answers to my first two 
questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the
first name of God?"                                   
                                                                                                                                     

"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from
the song. . "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME,   
ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. . ."                                                                                                     

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run Forrest, run."