ALUSHE:

Yes, fewer lighter meals is working well for me.  The increased lightness generally is brilliant.  And increased mental clarity.

But it was difficult at first.  I see that I use food to stuff down some unpleasantness, to numb out frustration, fear, anger, sadness....

This got me thinking about how so much of society uses food as a drug to dull the pain of our materialistic shallow existence.

Our spiritual is not inline with our physical, especially in the modern world.  And the New World Order is fast spreading, causing this imbalance worldwide.  Such an existence is so hearbreaking, and I see how rich, tasty, filling foods numb that pain for us---a wonderfully effective opiate. 

As for letting my feelings be known to my mother, I don't really know how to effectively go about doing that....she can be terribly insensitive but I recognize that the reason for that is she is insensitive towards herself.  She is so used to avoiding any real emotions, and I feel like I've been doing her emotional work for her throughout lifetimes.  I don't want to do that no more....I just can't.  It's not helping either of us.  But to confront it sends her into such a spin and this radiates out to me psychically.

Maybe when I get a bit stronger myself I'll be ready and protected enough to confront her.  (?)

VUYISWA:

Although I was never raised in any religion, I live next to a Catholic church.  I have been hanging out with the Jesus statue in there for many years.  I speak to him in a very informal way but he does not seem to mind in the slightest, because he always responds to my queries.  Thank you for your energy through his consciousness.

The "Bait and Switch" thing is exactly the razor's edge on which I am standing.  I am opening up to the compassion and trying to let go of my reflexive shutting-out....I keep using a mantra when I get around my mum to keep myself protected, but I still feel as though it's just a stop-gap.....not really addressing the issue. 

My friend was talking to me about how resistance drains energy, and right now I feel like I'm trapped in resistance.

Maybe I am afraid of the possibilities for change?  Maybe I am afraid to change the dynamic?  I have some blind spot here and I am attempting to see it...

Right now I feel like the answer is tatooed on my back, right between my shoulder blades, and no matter how I twist and turn I can't see it!

As for the sex-chakra issue, yeah that's an incredibly difficult chord to cut.  I recently had a dream in which my ex tried to hug me and I refused.  Instead I offered him a handshake.  He was upset but I stood firm.  So that is certainly progress!

KATO3-

I am using a Violet Light prayer nightly now.  It seems to be helping.  Thank you for the idea of the visuals, I will try that as well.

CAMERON-

I will take your advice and I know that will help!  [By the way, I really enjoyed your thread about the "ideas you believe to be true but cannot prove."]

IRANIA:

Indeed, my mom is not used to this!  That is part of my difficulty.  She wants everything to just be okay between us, but to her "okay" means me continuing to support her illusions.  She is completely clinging to the paradigm of materialistic, mechanistic existence.  No spirit world, just born and then we die.  So she lives life as if it were an emergency, always planning in order to get in control, never really Here--Now.

The few times I have called her out on things she gets into such a dark, withdrawn upset mode that I then start to feel badly.  This is not right!  I have to learn how to stop identifying with someone else's suffering more.  Be compassionate but detached.

Change can be difficult.  And I have this horrible co-depency tendency in which I get stuck and avoid telling people about themselves because I know that it will be hard to hear. 

And yet for myself I want to hear those things!  I WANT people to check me, to call me out when I'm being an idiot.  And yeah, it can hurt and be embarassing but when it's done with love it is a great gift.  So why can't I do this for my mother?  It's like I don't want to upset or embarass her but meanwhile she is upsetting and embarssing herself.

ZONABI:

I have a prayer session scheduled today, I will send some energy to you, too!

MANYEAGLES:

Thanks for the book rec.  I will check her out soon.
ANd thanks for your energy.  I am grateful.

FREEME:

Greetings.  It's nice to be back.

With so much gratitude,
Tillibullu

I don't understand what it is....
Perhaps some sense of undeservedness.  Or maybe just overwhelming gratitude. 

I also see some residue of shame for needing help.  I have a messianic complex that I am supposed to be beyond my human-self and have it all together. 

This is worsened because I can "see" the purity of Truth and the beautiful, symetrical balance of spiritual law, and then I am disappointed when I don't manifest this.

But if I were so evolved I would probably not be on this planet!!

I also feel like I can "see" Buddha/Christ/Krishnamurti consciousness.....I can "see" what that is....but some weird tiny knots in my psyche are tripping me up.....I know what it will take and I am afraid to manifest it.....I am afraid of "spiritual perfection."

I think I am afraid of that Responsibility....

Does that make any sense?

It's going to sound a little sappy, but from one Reiki healer to another... Namaste Kato3 <a deep virtual bow>

Quite the beautiful gift you've offered here, as I'm sure you do everywhere. Very nice.

Sent thoughts your way last night/yesterday (felt emotional pain), although words sometimes do not convey the "seeing".  The "mirror" process described by Vuyiswa can be certainly frustrating and not so pleasant at times, but the growth and learning from the message can ultimately overide the interum turmoil you seem to be currently experiencing.  Sounds like lots of good ideas are being shared with the members of the forum to address your current plight- but one that struck me as really dead on was Camerons        

From experience, that one REALLY works.  Plus it seems to help with pushing  out self defeating negative thoughts that pop up from time to time.  It is an ongoing thing to monitor one's thoughts throughout the day and dreamtime as well. 

There are many good books to read that may help with what you're going through.  Lynn Andrews is a woman who writes many books on the shamanic ways with a bent towards empowering women.  Some of my fav's are:  Jaguar Woman, The women of the Wyrrd, Tree of Dreams, and Dark sister.  She has a website and teaches as well.  Good luck and remember, you are not alone 

i add what i can, where i can, but i just wanted to let you all know how wonderful i think NR is.

i will pray for you till, and i could use a little prayers as well, been having some chest pains and bad dreams...

love,
z

Healing energies sent. Unhealthy cords between each solar plexus (between the two of you) disconnected with Love. 

Cosmic energies in through your crown and golden energies in through you solar plexus pushing out negativity-which is transmuted back to pureness by Mother Earth.

Mom was on healing table, clearing negative/old/no longer serving energies from her heart and golden light to her solar plexus and bright green light to her heart. Was murky in there (puce green) but is now bright and lovely. She will not be used to this so may demonstrate fear or some kind of stress but with time all is well for you.

Personal, authentic power can now flow within each of you individually and more effectively and fully.

Love & Peace Be With You Both

I am having a hard time getting past this plateau or out of this valley.

SO I am simply asking that anybody who has the energy to spare send me some healing vibrations.  I just need a few energetic pushes!  I know that I will benefit and I would be most grateful.

If you are reading this then I believe that is sufficient means to connect to me.

Hi Tilli,

I can relate to what you are going through and I send you my love in the name of the Christ Consciousness. Energy drains can wear you out and literally make you dizzy if you remain attached to the outcome. All I can say is do your best, with requests for assistance as you have, to cut the energetic drain on your solar plexus.

Staying connected to a network of this nature with those who understand is great protection and assistance on an energetic level. Take a mental break if you can and meditate on yourself and where you would like to be at this time.

When in the same environment as you mum, try to see her as a mirror for you. As someone who is unconsciously offering you great assistance to break the "bait and switch" umbilical cord that ties you together. Visualising the mirror egg around you to bounce off the energy pull she exerts, will make a difference I have found. This will free up enough energy for you to feel compassion for her neediness. Afterall, there is a love bond there that cannot be denied, as you agreed, pre-incarnation, for her to play this role for you.

If the former lover plays in your dreams, visualise a cutting of the sex chakra cord that may still be tying you together. I have found that links via the sex chakra are particularly hard to resist, especially in dreamtime. In haunting you, he is haunting himself.

I think the diet changes will be of great assistance. If you can afford it go for a colonic as well, as a symbolic and practical purging of all that is making you feel unwell.

Take it as read that Light in the name of Love is winging its way to you from the UK.

Stay true to yourself, and speak your truth.

Vuyiswa

Your diet change sounds very similar to what I undertook several months ago, and am still continuing. I have eliminated my refined sugar intake, abstain from any dairy products other than feta and occasionally brie cheese, no longer eat 3 square meals at set times but rather eat many lighter snacks throughout the day. My usual diet consists of several bottles of water sipped almost constantly throughout the day, lots of coleslaw without dressing, pita bread, occasional portions of lamb or chicken, and plenty of other salads. I'm finding that my appetite has diminished significantly without any noticeable change in my weight whatsoever over the past 8 months. I have more energy, and a general lightness of being about myself.

I can only speak for myself here, but a diet change has definitely worked wonders for me and I would recommend one finds what works for them.

Keep positive and eat well, go for a walk somewhere nice, try to relax for a while and you'll be fine.
Best wishes,

Alushe.

Edit: As for your mother, I think it would be beneficial to let your feelings on the matter known to her and let it work as a meme, perhaps maintain a bit of space for a time while still being supportive and friendly.

I'm currently working on healing my third chakra....

I have some imbalance or toxicity in my liver-kidneys-adrenals.
Dark circles under my eyes, lack of energy.

I'm doing a vegan diet right now which seems to be helping immensely.  The man who cooks the food meditates as he cooks, and uses only the best organic ingredients.  The food tastes ALIVE!

Also increasing intake of water, completely eliminating caffeine, processed foods, and almost completely eliminated sugar.  (I still mess up and eat chocolate!)

I also have recently ended a relationship and it took a long time for me to let go of it.  I was being haunted by him as well, so I think we were both draining each other's energy via interactions in other dimensions.  Recently I met him in the spirit world and I think it was finally clear for both of us that it was over.

I also have another individual (my mother) who has been taking my energy...we seem to have some sort of confusion that I am supposed to solve all her problems, like I am here for her to harvest energy.  I am doing some good work changing myself to protect myself, but as anyone who has tried this knows, changing one's own patternings is a challenge.

I am having a hard time getting past this plateau or out of this valley.

SO I am simply asking that anybody who has the energy to spare send me some healing vibrations.  I just need a few energetic pushes!  I know that I will benefit and I would be most grateful.

If you are reading this then I believe that is sufficient means to connect to me.

Cheers!