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#1 2008-02-11 15:34:45

EON
Member
Registered: 2007-10-09

Any Suggestion??

Well to begin with am not pissed at all..just frustrated and I don't believe in complaining anymore. I am really sick of all the STS and STO's talk and everything. First of all to understand the STS and STO i don't see a sign of neither of them in my life all i see is STS people who are ready to brain feed you every second to decieve you and to confuse you in every momment.

I can't sleep without being disturbed. I can't sleep without nigtmares. I can't have lucid dreams am awakened. I can't meditate the paranomral presence of some stupid dumfuckds would disturb my silence. I can't work because I have no friggin degree. I can't do drugs cuz all they do is make me happy for moments take me to my answers and leave me again with the same life that i ca'nt make any difference in. I can't eat because what all i eat at home is not healthy at all they will look for ways to either fill the food up with salt or have soo much oil that it literally feels like drinkin oil with the food that i take in. I can't meditate even at night and I can't even think about meditating with the sounds of crackers to horns and cars and what not. Why is the world has choosen me to be bothered up to my ass. And above all this i can't even complain anywhere i go i end up hearing the same friggin thing everything will be fine. This is just some bull shit for me. I really don't give a shit about any GOD or DEVIL i do'nt believe in all these crap that am living. I live a life that i can't die even if i succeed then i end up being one of the same bitches i encouter day and night who lives a life of oblivion with hatred and deception in them. This is not even the beginnig of problems I have written there is a whole lot of things that I go thru while am awake and even when i sleep. I am so sick of the entity who can do allt his i friggin don't like to hate but I would never let his ass take over me not matter where he goes i will friggin always be against him for doing all that he has made me go thru with allt hese people around me on the name of family and what not who only piss me of every second of my life. Even whem am waking am like feeding my brain thru all the people in my house with all kinds of pains and what not. I can't move out cuz am broke like a motherf*cker. Looks like money rules over this planet and whole existence I will die in search of true love and belonging but never will i surrender to power and money as my GOD.

This is what I have thought for now. I am going to leave my house my town, my city and abandom myself to some deep jungle and meditate my ass off and live alone in the hope of someone to come down for me and explain me why am i the one to go thru all that is happening. They say law of attraction I don't even bother to attract all these no matter how happy i keep myself this shit happens me regardless. I will die in a jungle hungry and starving if i have to but never will i give up around people who lied to me all my life. Now, that I have my mind set to go and lost myself into a jungle which I have no experience about but I believe in myself and i will survive.

This is what i need a suggestion with what would you take with you when you are to go loose yourself into some jungle for meditation? And what would you be prepared to come across along with wild animals, mosquitoes and what not and how does one go about treking in some jungle mountains?? And what one does think of my choice to abandon myself to all the life that i want to leave behind in search of enlightenment? And mind you am not weak its just that its aobut time now for me to be serious to bring this episode to a conclusion by either death or enlightenment with all the forgiveness and love to all these people who have caused me all that they have all my friggin life from mind programming to what not I have encountered. Thanx for any suggestion that will be written.. I will leave on 18th of this month exactly a week and I don't think i will have any money on me but I will try to become a breathariain with all my love that I have for the one who strengthens me if not I wll die in that love but don't want to be part of this civilised jail and system.


" Love is the understanding and unspoken bond between you and the creator "

"Loving is an art that is the state of creation"

..........Lyrically am suppose to SHINE.........
..........I am the ONE that makes you  BLIND........
..........And am that darkness that lets you SHINE.........

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#2 2008-02-11 19:27:21

shukaido
Member
Registered: 2007-07-22

Re: Any Suggestion??

SOME DAYS ARE BETTER THAN OTHERS - U2

Some days are dry, some days are leaky
Some days come clean, other days are sneaky
Some days take less, but most days take more
Some slip through your fingers and onto the floor
Some days you're quick, but most days you're speedy
Some days you use more force than is necessary
Some days just drop in on us
Some days are better than others

Some days it all adds up
And what you got is not enough
Some days are better than others

Some days are slippy, other days sloppy
Some days you can't stand the sight of a puppy
Your skin is white but you think you're a brother
Some days are better than others

Some days you wake up with her complaining
Some sunny days you wish it was raining
Some days are sulky, some days have a grin
And some days have bouncers and won't let you in

Some days you hear a voice
Taking you to another place
Some days are better than others

Some days are honest, some days are not
Some days you're thankful for what you've got
Some days you wake up in the army
And some days it's the enemy

Some days are work, most days you're lazy
Some days you feel like a bit of a baby
Lookin' for Jesus and His mother
Some days are better than others

Some days you feel ahead
You're making sense of what she said
Some days are better than others

Some days you hear a voice
Taking you to another place
Some days are better than others


"Oh where have you been, my blue-eyed son? Where have you been, my darling young one?" - Roxy Music (B. Dylan)

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#3 2008-02-11 20:08:43

Spi
arcane adventurer
Registered: 2007-10-18

Re: Any Suggestion??

Well to begin with am not pissed at all..just frustrated and I don't believe in complaining anymore. I am really sick of all the STS and STO's talk and everything. First of all to understand the STS and STO i don't see a sign of neither of them in my life all i see is STS people who are ready to brain feed you every second to decieve you and to confuse you in every momment.

That's what I was thinking, EON, what's with all the chatting about STO and STS? I know it's an interesting subject, but I think people are talking about it too much instead of thinking other different creative topics to learn about. The questions about them are being asked and asked and explained and explained. Again and again. ... I had my fill of knowledge about the Service-to-Others and Service-to-Self. It's not so hard to get and move on.


I think you're seeing only the empty part of the glass. From what I learn - this realm of Earth is 100% STS - But there's not need to get frustrated and say "Everyday... I'm tricked someway... This sucks" Where we are feels pretty empty and painful, but it doesn't matter because we're here because we're here. Nor good or bad, just experience.

Though I have met a couple of others that are aligned to Service-to-Others and you'd be surprised on how friendly loving, and cool they are.

And you've seem to be having that "Oh, what's the point" attitude. I had this last month, and I'll help with that. I feel your pain. Believe me, I was empty in my heart chakra and hungry in my navel - But will that let me down? ... I read some page and it talked to me and I cheered up, lol! Took control in myself!!

Remember that you have more power than they want you to think. That post shows that you are stressing from reaction. It's best to control, think, and act rather than react to anything uncomfortable.


If this becomes to great for your experience, take some deep breaths (When you're alone, or else this will attach onto another person), and learn that the attitude you're in will blur your vision. Let's clean the glass slowly and be patient. Stay more focus on what you need rather what you want. Hope this helps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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