That was an intro. Now to one other thing. I've tried the sedona method. It hasn't changed me. I've tryed the zpoint process. Hasn't worked. I've been trying emotrance. I think there is something wrong with my energy body now... I can't seem to let go of crap!!!!! The fact that I feel like I can't be free is really bothering me. I want things to be different so badly! But I don't even know what to visualize!!!! The only reason I still even think of anything spiritual is because of a few synchronicities (very profound...and beautiful) and that visualizing usually works for me (yay). I just really need to ask. What the hell do I do??... to change?
Maybe there's too much "trying" going on. Too much stress, too much effort, and possibly expecting quickie results. Real change takes time for most people, it doesn't happen overnight, or in days or a few months.
We all have bad habits and a lifetime of programming. That's why change can be so hard and take awhile, and why many instantaneous quickie "modalities" and techniques don't work.
If you want change you have to first identify:
- Where you want to go - what's your goal? Where is the finish line for you? If you don't know where you're going, it might be impossible to get there.
- What are the bad habits and programming that you want to change? What's hindering you in your life from reaching the finish line?
Everybody's going to be different in their answers. Everybody has a different personal goal, everybody has different bad habits and programming.
You'll also need a hefty dose of willpower and desire. Without that one can easily fall off the wagon, figuratively speaking, after a few days.
For me, I wouldn't recommend any of those methodologies that are out there. I'd recommend philosophies.
Buddhism is a philosophy. The Toltec warrior path is a philosophy. Zen is a philosophy. But new age modalities and methodologies to me seem like bandaid surface level quickie fixes. If you want true change on a permanent level, to reach whatever goal you have, then you kind of have to turn yourself inside out and go back to the very beginning. It's not as hard as it seems, but you have to examine who you are and how you got there in order to implement change. Change only works when you've identified where the problem lies...and how it happened, and where you want to go. After you identify where the issues are and where you want to go, it then becomes a matter of changing the way you think and perceive the world, and reprogramming your bad habits and mindset. And that's where for me, philosophies such as the Toltec teachings, or Stuart Wilde (who overlaps with that, kind of a combination of Taoist/Zen/Toltec) come in versus any sort of compartmentalized "technique."
I've been in the process of identifying issues and making changes for several years now and the books of Carlos Castaneda, Theun Mares and Stuart Wilde in particular really helped. I'd literally read their stuff every single day on my lunch breaks, in effect, undoing a lifetime of crap and reprogramming myself to a better way of thinking and approaching things. I'm back to doing that again right now. But again, it's been slow....bit by bit, piece by piece. Falling off the wagon, getting back on, trying again, making progress here, failing miserably there, trying again, etc. You have to be ready, and you have to patient, and you have to have will. Some may think, well, if you keep failing, then obviously those philosophies don't work either. ! Actually they do. I'm not the same person I was several years ago. And who I was several years ago when I first started in with this material became somebody very different from who I was several years before that. So, it does have an impact, it has helped in a big time way. But it's just not instantaneous. Bit by bit. Piece by piece. Habits and programming die hard. It takes work, and will.
I want to feel like there's a point to life ya know? I want to see what's really out there! I don't want my thoughts to have such power over me (eckhart tolle!). I want something but I can't put my finger on it and I feel like I am lost and hopeless! I don't even meditate cause I feel like it'll take years for anything in me to change... Reply back when you can.[/
The point to our lives can only be determined by us. So.....find that point. If it doesn't exist for you yet, then create it. Sit down and begin thinking about you want out of this life, what you hope to become, what you want to do. I'm not sure how young or old you are (you sound young) but many people in their teens to early 20s who are into the weird and unusual stuff are generally lost it seems, from what I've seen in my own experience. They're floating adrift, lacking any sort of direction or purpose or grounding, sometimes lacking hope or enthusiasm or motivation. That's the nature of what's going on nowadays, what the powers of be have created in this society. It's a deliberate plan, in my belief, and it's worked very well. The current young generations, including my own, the 30-ish "gen x'ers" if you were to suscribe to such labels are just lost, especially the males. It's either they are completely absorbed by the mainstream hive mind, or, they're still living at home with mom n pop, or crashing with friends or homeless in cars. Unemployed. Can't find a job. And deep down don't want to work. Can't find a girlfriend. No money. No car. Bouncing from failed self-employed venture after another after another. Etc. I think it's a mix of several things crashing together at the same time - the powers that be and their attempts at destabilizing society and dismantling the family structure with their media programming bombardment that encourages materialism and a shallow existence of money, sex, and acquiring "things," as well as the influx of souls waking up, no longer willing to play the game and refusing to take part in the whole matrix structure of things. Both combined together creates people who are drifting aimless, lost.
On a closing note, since you mentioned Stuart Wilde, he's my top recommendation, you'll probably do well to continue with his material, more so than Eckert Tolle. I cannot for the life of me figure out the appeal of Eckart!!! All you ever see are people talking about the guy. To each his own I guess, but his stuff is so dry and boring boring blahhhh. I've flipped through his stuff and found my eyes glazing over. Nothing jumped out at me, and it didn't have any "life" vibe to it. Very flat. So I can't imagine how his stuff works to actually affect meaningful, permanent change in people's lives. Which is a whole side topic in itself that's been on my mind lately................the fact that most self help books don't work. The fault lies with the person seeking the help as much as the ineffectual way most self-help books are written. It's such a cliche to hear about people with their shelf full of self help books that didn't help at all or even make a dent. Most likely because of bad writing, holier than thou approach, detached academic pompous way of writing, and the so-called "humorous" and "down to earth" books that just come across as being contrived, written by authors whose voices aren't likeable. Etc. Stuart has humor and is down to earth and personable, but it's real, not contrived, and it's likeable, and he incorporates first hand experiences and anecdotes into his stuff, so has more of an impact. Also, I would highly recommend the book "Return of the Warriors" by Theun Mares. That book really lays it on the line with regards to what the problems are for how most people think and live.
"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "Holy shit ... what a ride!" - Anonymous
"I get by with a little help from my (higher density) friends."