I have to leave work in like five minutes, so I have no time to reply with much depth to what you posted. I am surprised I missed this post until now.
I just want to say, I am there with you, totally. We are similar age group, and much of what you've described I experienced as well, over the period of the last several years. I have been fighting depression since I was at least in 3rd grade. To be honest, I have been really miserable and sad almost every day for the past couple weeks, beyond rational thought, just a feeling that I wake up with. I posted a really long post last year about my own upbringing/life-before-NR and it sounds similar to what you posted in a few spots.
I was stuck living at my parents house after I graduated, and after five months of being miserable and working bad jobs, I relocated to the other side of the country and started a Masters Degree program. School was a bad idea this time, unfortunately. My first degree was practical, and this second degree was totally impractical, because I had seen the practical degree not be worth SHIT, so I though maybe if i followed my creativity and my heart I would have more success. HAHAHA nope!
My own advice for myself is that I want to find some people who are active in establishing self-sustainability for themselves... whether setting up a farm, or an intentional community, or something like that. All I meet are people working dayjobs with no money, and no ambitions beyond picking up McDonalds on their way home and seeing what their TiVo recorded that day. So, I know everything can change for the better, and I have focused on being very healthy and educating myself on what is important in my own life (you can always go vegan if you want a change, that changed a lot of things for me). I'm currently planning to move AGAIN soon, and this time relocate to go to a school for an associates degree in Sustainable Agriculture, which will hopefully give me the opportunity to work outside and interact with the Earth, and do something positive for people like grow food. Simple, necessary.
Not much insightful to tell you now. But I wanted you to know that there are definitely people like you who are going through stuff like you're going through. I don't know what it means, and what it adds up to. I feel very cynical and bitter and sad some days, but I also know that everything can change and that I love life.. I love living.
Ok, good luck