Hi Jay,

I just wanted to let you know that I took your advice as far as sitting in silence and it worked really well!

Thanks for everything and YHWH bless!

17 (edited by feedbaxlow 2006-08-17 08:50:26)


Awesome! if you can see it works in such a short time, imagine how much is possible when that "listening" is a part of our everyday life.
The mind's natural ability to learn is multiplied exponentially.

I have to report that going "through this problem" with you, helped me to clarify problems i am having as well.

I have no choice but to take my own advice to you, and thoroughly let go of a fight i am having with my "lower selves".
I feel better just knowing in my bones that i can see it instead of just blindly resisting it.

Cause "seeing it" is REALLY doing something about it energetically.
These things cannot survive the light of day, they thrive in darkness.
so together we open the doors and windows and let some fresh air in!
peace my friend.


Hello Friend,

I can definitely see that whatever I am dealing with does not want me to maintain the same level of thinking and feeling. This is a constant struggle due to the fact that what I am dealing with thrives only in darkness as you mentioned in your last letter. As long as I am ignorant my problem will remain. Techniques themselves just wont cut it. Knowledge of what is happening to me in my life is the only remedy which is why I have chosen not to feel as though I know whats going on. One of the most severe and dramatic things thats happening to me right now is a sensation I can feel moving into my lower sex organs or root chakra "energy center". This rush of energy I feel is causing my mood and feelings to drop in an outrageous way. I start off feeling angry when it happens at first and then Ill cry sometimes which is what happened today. The feeling is bad enough to make me want to off myself when it happens. Its a sick dirty feeling behind it similar to being raped when it happens. I have a really good feeling that my enviroment has alot to do with it as well. I am in desperate need of the truth of my life. Its too difficult to live in limbo and theres no turning back. I do not chose to live like this taking my life and the situation I am dealing with as lightly as its been taken when Ive talked to others about it. The most open and honest people Ive come across were psycic and everything they told me came to pass which explains my importance in this world along with going through all the things Ive went through. Its as though they have given me pieces to this puzzle. The pieces of this puzzle that was given was knowledge in order to empower and strengthen me. My only wish would be to have the rest of those pieces in order to resolve this matter. I do believe in what you told me before which is the fact that there isnt any good or evil only ignorance. I do not chose to be ignorant. YHWH bless.

Your fellow soldier in this beautiful struggle.

19 (edited by feedbaxlow 2006-08-18 13:49:33)


Marlo, i admire your spirit of persistence. I have my tears and trials too. But it seems better than getting angry, which only feeds the cycle.

You might want to read the latter bits of "the insidier" link since it is so clear on the kinds of things that influence us and the fact that we have a choice in this, choosing to start from where we are and working on ourselves instead of merely waiting for things to improve.
The most useless this is the self pity, (why me?) the impatience, and the inertia.
This coasting along with no discipline or temperance. Expecting things to be handed out, or someone to make things better for us.
See the insider post for a good definition of that aspect and our personal responsibility.
THanks and keep going!  Jay   smile