Having children (Page 1 of 2)

Hey Ferit,

You're not the only person who has negative vibe towards kids. I feel exactly the same so I totally relate to what you're saying. I have two young nephews (2 & 5) which are great little kids and I love them to bits, but they would drive me completely up the wall if they were my own and I had to look after them 24/7. I just couldn't do it, it'd make me go insane!!

I've never had any desire to have kids and I can't see that ever changing now that I've just entered my 30's. Right now it's not an issue because I'm not in a relationship, but if I ever did fall in love with someone who had her heart set on having kids then that would probably cause problems.

All I can say is don't pay any attention to what family and friends are saying. Having kids is a major decision and a huge lifestyle change. Your life will never be the same again, that's for sure. Only do it if it's something you both want to do.

Feritciva, dont feel bad about not wanting kids. I have 3 kids, aged 30, 22 and 10. I also have 2 grandchildren. I have two siblings that married but never had kids, and they are wonderful aunts and uncles. Unfortunatelly we are programed to think that if we dont do certain things that we are somehow different or for that matter "wrong" in our thinking. You are smart to listen to your intuition. Raising kids isnt for everybody and you shouldnt feel guilty.

I wouldn't have one until you feel positive about it.

Having a child is a heavy commitment.

I had my son when I was 40 and my wife was 43.

He is 5 now.

He's the best thing in my life but I also feel vulnerable because of wanting protect him.

As the world becomes more turbulent I feel that I would compromise my beliefs to protect him.

I feel that anybody could get to me by threatening him.

I hope it never comes to that.

I agree with you totally on that google, I feel very vulnerable because of wanting to protect my kids, even when they become adults.  It is a very crazy time right now.

ferit,

You got the bull by the horns.  I wish you well my friend.

Regards,

Lee

Hi ferit,

You have to do what's right for you.  Some people want kids, other's don't.  Nothing wrong with that. Some people are horrible with kids, and so shouldn't be having them.  Others like kids well enough, but to be around them 24/7......no patience!  Bad idea!     Or, they like kids, and actually DO want to have some, but they feel this just isn't the world to be bringing them into.  (that's me, and my situation.)  So, we all have to do what's in our destiny do, and it's not in everybody's destiny to have kids.

With that said, I've had some ideas tossing around in my head while reading this thread:

1.  How many abductees find themselves not having kids?   (I'm not saying you're an abductee feritciva, I don't remember whether you've ever said that you have that going on)  But seriously, how many abductees feel that they're here with some big plan, a mission, an agenda they must accomplish, and to do so means....refrain from having kids, because it would get in the way?  How many abductees don't reproduce out of fear of their kids being targetted, since multi-generational tagging and harrassing is "their" mode of operation?  (and they may not even be consciously aware of the reason for their reluctance.)

2.  How much has feminism / the "NWO" (for lack of a better term...hate using cliches like that, but I don't know what else to call it...) affected our ideas of children and family?  This is a HUGE one that has to be taken into consideration with any topic having to do with not wanting kids and a family.  Many don't even realize how much our views on family have been affected and tampered with by a lifetime of media and societal culture, the feminism movement and the conspiracies to destroy the family and tear down society.  (and again, I'm not saying this about you personally, ferit, it's just an idea that I thought of while reading this thread topic.)  Many may deny it, "Oh, I can't be programmed like that!"  but think again.  We're ALL programmed about something, whatever it is.   Feminism has convinced women to put their careers first, and have kids later....if ever.  It's got women acting like men, trying to BE men, and men wanting to be perpetual teenage boy bachelors who never grow up, and combining both together is a recipe for disaster.    We have a society that pushes the idea of "ME ME ME!!"  and instant self gratification and insatiable ego fullfillment, so kids are now seen as an impediment to personal hedonism.   Kids are a burden.  They get in the way of my personal fun.  I want to devote all my time and spare money to ME ME ME, not a kid.  And I'm not saying this is "right" or "wrong", but it's interesting to stop and think about whether any of us fall into this category, or notice if those around us do. 

- Let's face it...having kids is a natural urge for mankind.  It's why we're all here;

- The ME ME ME! instant self gratification and insatiable ego fullfillment is a purely modern phenomenon...a by-product of the 20th century lifestyle....and some would say, the feminism movement/CIA/NWO conspiracy to destroy the family.

- People not wanting kids is on the rise like never before;  childbirth in modern Western nations is on the decline.  More and more of the younger generation look at having kids with contempt. 

So, combining that together, would it seem possible that many of us are not wanting kids because we've been programmed to turn away from that?

Or is it something else? 

I don't know.  It's not a black and white issue.  Everybody has their various reasons for not wanting kids.  Mine are for several reasons:   When I was in my 20's, the idea of a kid was unappealing because it "got in the way."   I wasn't ready.  I wasn't done having fun yet.     Now, at 31, I'd like to have one actually, but I don't think this is the world to be bringing kids into.   If I can't do it right, it shouldn't be done at all.  If I can't have a home schooled kid that's guaranteed not to face forced vaccinations and compulsory pysch meds and psych tests, compliments of George W., and if I can't have a kid that won't be surrounded by the garbage media and our degenerative society, and possible upcoming wars, then I don't know.  What is the point??  I don't want to churn out another NWO statistic!!!

But also deep down I have to admit that another reason involves what I witnessed of my parents.

My parents were miserable, and never should have gotten married.  Kids were a burden to both of them, although my dad loved us and never thought of us that way.  But we were a financial strain to him.  My brother and I weren't dumb, we saw it.  It's why I started working at 13.   My mom on the other hand, NEVER missed an opportunity to proclaim how much she couldn't stand us, and later on, how much she hated us and would never have had us could she go back and do it again, she should've stayed single and kept her job working in the city, (NYC) and been that happy, carefree single working girl in the 70's.  Motherhood and being a wife sucks, it's horrible, she shouldn't have done it, BLAH blah blah blah BLAH blah BLAH.

Can you say.....feminism movement influence?     So I witnessed their misery, and by the age of 9 I was like NO WAY am I duplicating this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  HELL NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  Not those exact words, 'cause you know, I was only 9, but it was the same thought.     

So anyway, those are my random thoughts as I read this.   Again though, I have to say, everybody should just do what's right for them.   Just because it's right for your friends and family to have kids, doesn't mean it's the way to go for you.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.  Feminism is creating a new generation of insecure, hen pecked, afraid young men.  It is sad to see it happen!  Nowadays, both father and mother "have" to work to make a decent living.  But who's definition are we using?  The definition of those that want to sell, sell sell and in the process destroy the family structure (or is this the real goal?).  When are young parents going to realize that the mother/father influence is so important in the early years of the child since the oral and anal imprints are developed during these early years?  But because we want more, more, more (or we have been led to believe so) that role is been played by the  baby sitter, the TV  or the day care center.  It is definetely a sad picture.  It is going to take a colossal effort to change things around, but it can be done.

Regards,

Lee