Re: The Lady Speaks Again
So where was I?
I spent most of the early morning following the second ceremony re-reading my notes, and trying to organize my thoughts for sharing later that morning. Thankfully the preparation wasn’t too difficult since The Lady actually had given me specific instructions the night before. I wrote in my journal,
“Tell Them – about the layers of protection, about the Phoenix, to have trust, faith and stay alert.”
She even gave me a pep talk saying, “Don’t be afraid to tell what you saw/ heard/ felt. Even if they don’t get it now, they will later, but don’t scare.” She added a little practical advice, “Interact a little. Don’t just isolate yourself. These are nice people, all; very special group.”
Thanks to my lecture notes, I put my fear and embarrassment aside and breezed through sharing that day.
I took The Lady up on her advice to interact a little more with the rest of the crew. I realized that I had been isolating myself quite a bit, which I have a tendency to do when I’ve got a lot on my mind, so even though it was raining I went with a small group on a boat tour to the nearby islands. It felt really good to get out in the fresh air and do something physical that day to get my mind off of things. We came back that evening cold, wet and tired but totally refreshed.
By this time I had been away from home for about 10 days, and I was really homesick and anxious to get back to my family. I thought, “Just one more ceremony, then one more day, then one long-ass trip, and I’m home!”
Thanks to the fatigue brought on by that day’s island hopping adventures I slept well that night. I awoke refreshed.
We all enjoyed our second-to-the-last day at the resort despite the intermittent rain, while we awaited the 9:00pm ceremony. Even though I had a pretty tough time the night before I was actually looking forward to the third and final ceremony that night. I was encouraged by The Lady’s promise that the next journey would be, “very nice with much healing”. I was told, “No more questions—just trust—relax. Don’t think so much. Let Mama do her thing.” So I had that going for me, but that was easier said than done.
At one point I spotted the shaman, Warinei relaxing on the porch of bungalow with his wife, Margarita, their beautiful 3-year-old daughter, Iris and his apprentice, Sara. We chatted for a while, and for the first time ever I asked if he could help me with a healing of sorts during the ceremony, if he had the time. I explained my problem, which was mainly that I get very tired and tend to lose my motivation or spark, mostly due to job stress. I eat right and workout in the gym and with martial arts. My family life and relationship with my wife is better than ever, but I just get worn out after a while, burned out is a better term. We talked about that a bit and the nature of Chi energy. I explained that it would be nice just to maintain the energy and the fire I have when I leave these ayahuasca workshops. He said he would see what he could do. The third ceremony is traditionally oriented towards healing, or at least it seems that way to me, so I figured this would be my best shot.
The Candy Store
It was raining again when the ceremony started, so once again the ceremony was held in the close quarters of the porch. I prepared my mat in the same place as I had in the previous ceremony, nice and close to the shaman and his assistant. I remembered The Lady’s promise that this encounter with the ayahuasca would be very nice and healing. I also recalled that I had a pretty good track record for the previous third ceremonies being very pleasant experiences with little or no gastrointestinal effects and amazingly beautiful visions and insights, even in Columbia. I call these rare kinds of journeys—The Candy. “Would I get the candy this night?” I wondered. I got the whole candy store.
I drank my first cup and eventually settled onto my mat as the ayahuasca took hold. Sara, the shaman’s assistant had given me a beautiful hand-made maraca on the day of our arrival. She explained later that the design on the maraca was a mandala.
A mandala, according to Wikipedia is, “a generic term for any plan, chart or geometric pattern that represents the cosmos metaphysically or symbolically, a microcosm of the Universe from the human perspective.”
I thought that it was no small coincidence that all of my recent journeys have revolved around the theme of the nature of the universe from my perspective. This one was no exception.
The rhythm and the sound of Shaman’s maracas helped us focus and get through the initial nausea phase as the ayahuasca took effect. I finally got up the courage to try to shake my new maraca along with Warinei and Sara during the beginning stages of the ceremony, but the sound of the individual beads hitting the inside of the gourd produced a kaleidoscope of visions that made me sick to my stomach, especially if I was the least bit out of rhythm. I couldn’t continue to maintain the physical coordination, so I just lay back on my mat and listened to them. I remember remarking to myself how much physical and mental effort it must take on the part of the shamans to sing and play music in order to guide us safely through the ceremonies. All we had to do was lay there and hang on.
As always the switches opened and the sound of The Lady’s voice got louder and louder. I noticed the distinct absence of the familiar yet dreaded wave of demons, ghouls and snakes, which was definitely a good sign. The Lady explained that my job was to stay totally relaxed during this ceremony, so that I may be healed and so that I may help send healing to my family.
As I became more and more relaxed Warinei began to rhythmically shake the chacapa.
A chacapa is a leaf fan used for clearing energy and keeping rhythm during song. In the Lakota tradition I have heard Warinei sing about the Waida (why-da). I never really understood what Waida meant, but I associated it with the shaking of the chacapa. Here is a link to the actual song if you care to listen,
http://www.heartoftheinitiate.com/visio … nei-wanare.
As Warinei and Sara sang my body became lighter and lighter. I felt as though I was no longer solid. The best way I can describe it is, I saw myself as one of those 3-D, computer animation, wire frame models, like when the animators are designing Shrek or something. I distinctly remember thinking, “Where is that nice breeze coming from?” as I felt the gentle wind from Warinei’s chacapa on my left side. The perception was not that the wind was blowing on me, but through me. As I was being cleansed by the purifying breeze The Lady explained that all of all my fear, self doubt and guilt was being blown out of me, to the ocean, to the other side of the ocean and out to the furthest part of the universe.
This went on for quite some time. The only thing I had to do was lay there and let it happen by staying as quiet and relaxed as possible with no thinking and no questions asked. It felt so good.
As the cleansing process continued it was explained by The Lady that I should perform this healing visualization regularly when I get home to maintain my Chi energy. “Relax in nature,” She said, “Let it flow. Visualize and breath.”
My family is the most important theme in every ayahuasca journey since the beginning. In fact, you might say that ayahuasca saved my marriage. I was given detailed instructions and important reminders on how to maintain the passion in my marriage, and specifics on how to be a better husband, father and man.
Once again, as always, I was advised that everything I had learned before about the things to come were still true and that I should re-read my notes.
Eventually the singing and the chacapa stopped. I sat up and looked around as I realized how clean and refreshed I felt from the inside-out.
I walked around a bit and took stock of my condition as Warinei poured second cups of ayahuasca for those who cared to partake. It was almost dark by then. I felt great, but I had a sense that I would need a booster for the second phase of the journey, so I went up for a second cup. I sat back down on my little boy’s soft, deep-blue Power Rangers blanket that is always with me on these journeys as I contemplated my lessons and my family. I took a few more sips of cool water and lay back down as Warinei began to soft play his harmonica. The visions became brighter and brighter as the medicine concentrated in my body. The Lady was already loud and clear.
As the shaman’s played, and I watched the dancing-technicolor fractals keeping perfect time with the music, The Lady dropped a bomb shell by saying, “Remember everything I told you about the universe being like a pyramid and all that stuff? Well, it’s not really like that.” She went on to explain that it had to be shown to me that way, because my mind can only think in 3 dimensions, and I needed some way to conceptualize the nature of the universe, so that I could understand it.
She further explained that what we think of as God is not big. In fact it is quite the opposite, God is small. I wrote in my journal, “Mom/God is an infinitesimally small, minute point of extremely high energy with pure consciousness, pure energy and pure potentiality through the entire universe.” I was aware that we are all a part of Her as She is of us, like points of light.
At one point I saw it as central point of unimaginably high and pure energy surrounded by spheres of decreasing energy spreading out in all directions to infinity. Now superimpose that image on top of what I told you before about the higher energetic beings (ancestors, shamans, higher selves and angels) in the pyramid. Except, forget the pyramid and replace it with progressively smaller spheres that increase in energy exponentially as they get smaller, with The Lady being the highest energy, at the very center. If you can wrap your mind around that, then you will have the general concept of what I was shown.
At one point I was allowed to sort of feel what it was like to be at the very center, kind of like from The Lady’s perspective, and I stretched my arms across the universe, in all directions at the same time. I realized that my heart---The Lady’s heart, was the very center.
It was also explained that the pyramid visualization was also used because I can only think in 3 dimensions, and that I would drive myself crazy trying to pinpoint the central highest energetic point, The Lady. She said, “So it’s ok to conceptualize the structure of the universe as a pyramid. It’s the same concept, but in 3-D.” That makes intuitive sense to me today.
I then asked, “So if you are God---The Mother or The Feminine, then where is God---The Father?” The answer was, “On the other side of the universe.” I was shown two points in orbit around each other, God the Mother and God the Father. The energy of one bled into the other, and the image turned into the symbol for the Yin and the Yang. The orbits were shown to get circumferentially smaller and smaller until the two points masculine and feminine came into contact, and joined energetically. This represented creation or in human terms conception. You know how they say, “As above, so below.” Well this is the supreme example.
The Lady explained that there is a very simple technique to find Her in this vast universe, and that is to just concentrate on the space around your heart. The heart is what connects us all, to each other and to Her. The heart is the receiver and the transmitter to The Source of all that is, to The Lady-Herself. She is always as close as your own heart.
You might be asking yourself, as I did, why we can’t contact God the Father just as well? I don’t know the answer to that except to say that maybe it just depends on your perspective. In a previous journey I was shown the energy of God the Mother bleeding in to our consciousness as the energy of God the Father bled out. I was shown a time-line graphic of this as the feminine energy being an increasingly concentrated green vapor and the masculine energy being a fading gold vapor. By 2012 the transition will be complete.
There was a break in the action as the shaman’s rested for a few moments. By this time it seemed very late and the visions had pretty much faded out, but the voice of The Lady was still strong. I sat up as Sara came over to me with a bottle of special water that Warinei had prepared for me. She instructed me to take 3 sips tonight and drink the remainder before I left the workshop. I took the 3 sips, not knowing what to expect. It wasn’t but a few minutes after the music started again that I had a very clear vision of a Burmese tiger roaring and suddenly leaping towards me. In a split second the tiger jumped right into me. I thought to myself, “Did I just see a f*cking tiger jump inside me?” Again I saw the clear image of a roaring tiger as if to confirm the vision. The Lady explained that She sent the spirit of the tiger to help me with my Chi energy. Now, I’m not into cats or tigers. I like dogs, and if I was to pick a spirit animal for myself I would have guessed a wolf, so the tiger thing really took me by surprise, but it was exactly what I needed. She explained that I needed to, “Feed the tiger,” by regularly visualizing and meditating upon the tiger spirit inside me. My wife was pretty excited about that one when she said on the phone the next day, “Hurry home tiger!” She can make that “grrr” sound better than Bob Hope.
That’s pretty much it for my visions and storied from the third journey. The rest of the ceremony was spent with the shamans blessing and consecrating the objects we all laid out, personal items or gifts such as hand-made bracelets, on a blanket with our intents. It’s like we put out the intent for the specific object, and they stick it in for us. I always bring photos of my family and my wedding ring for this part of the ceremony. It is definitely the most beautiful and moving part of all the ceremonies, for me at least.
As always, I couldn’t wait to tell the shamans of my journey after the ceremony. I was especially grateful for the “tiger water” and the cleansing with the chacapa. Sara explained that the waida
they refer to in the songs is the Lakota term for wind. There really was a wind blowing through me.
So What if This is All Just a Bunch of Bullshit?
Ralph Miller and I killed the time on the long plane trip back deep in conversation, essentially giving each other our play-by-play for the week. We went into great detail about the journeys and the visions and their profound implications as we (mostly me) knocked down several glasses of wine. Of course I talked all about The Lady. At one point after a lull in the conversation I asked Ralph, “So what if this is all just a bunch of bullshit? What if we are all just tripping out on hallucinogenic tea and convincing ourselves that the illusion is real? Ralph’s answer was that as long as the ayahuasca helps him understand who he is and where he is, then the journey was real enough. My answer to that same question would be, as long as it helps me and my family, then The Lady and Her teachings are real.
Now for you the reader, I implore you to read my stories with the utmost discernment, especially when it comes to this 2012 stuff, because it all boils down to two totally different scenarios. It’s either 100% true and it’s basically the coolest thing in the world or I imagined the whole thing. Only time will tell.
How do I live my life after all of these visions and teachings that we may be on the verge of some kind of massive global change? You guessed it, day by day. I do my best to “live in the now” as Eckart Tolle advises. I try to be a little less materialistic. I try to eat a few less animals and pollute the earth a little less. I try to be a little more patient and compassionate. I try to show my family how much I love them, especially my wife. I try to maintain the passion and tiger spirit in my life. I try to let negative things blow right through me. I try to get out in nature and meditate. I try to concentrate on my heart space and listen to the faint voice of The Lady every day. I try not to be afraid to ask for help. I try.
A Word of Caution.
This 2012 stuff is going to get awfully popular in the upcoming years. There will be movies and books about the apocalypse out the wazoo. Making predictions and prophecies will become a favorite pastime. Hoarding will become a way of life. UFO sightings, Grays and Reptilians, Illuminati conspiracies and channeling of Captains of Galactic Federations, Light beings and ascended masters will be common place. Everyone will become an expert, and people will feed off of each other’s delusions and fears.
Forget all that shit. Focus on yourself and your family. Try to do your best everyday, and forgive yourself when you don’t. Stay alert, like a hunter. Watch for the signs in the earth, animals and human behavior. A good website to keep a pulse on things is http://earthchangesmedia.com/.
Don’t believe anyone who says they know what is coming in the years ahead. Nobody knows.
I asked recently, “How do we prepare for the times to come?” You don’t need to hoard food and water, gold and silver. You are the gold. If there does come a time, when it becomes obvious that something is going down, then you prepare by staying flexible and alert. Have blind-trust and faith that you’ll be ok. Stock up on a little bit of food and water, some cash, lots of booze, but nothing that ties you down. Don’t attract attention to yourself. There is safety in communities of friends and families. Until that day comes, and it may never will, just live your life as best as you can.