I think it was 1990 or 1991 when I was home with a flu-like thing, but I was supposed to be working on a brochure for a client of mine. I wasn't feeling very inspired but was seeking inward for inspiration nonetheless, and just doodling on a piece of a paper, wondering what would be a good logo for this client's business.
I ended up doodling this image:
...and immediately knew it was "me", not a logo for my client. Not that it was for me, but that it was a graphic depiction of "me" in some way (today I might call it my energy signature. Back then I had no words for the "me" feeling). If you've ever caught your image in passing, say in a reflecting window of a building on a city street, and felt that sense of seeing yourself in a different light, it was kind of like that. It was a huge feeling for me to suddenly "recognize myself" differently.
The next day I went with my roommate to a new agey bookstore and meandered around looking at all these things I was unfamiliar with (not very new agey myself. Stones, incense, systems of knowledge... none of this was "my thing", but my roommate was getting into it so I went along for fun). I seemed to feel a bit of intrigue when I saw Ralph Blum's "The Book of Runes", so I picked it up to look at and just opened the book to a page. There it was, lo and behold, a symbol I immediately recognized... the first "S" in that logo image above which I had just drawn the day before, which is the symbol for "Sowelu". I had never even heard of the Runes before, but man... what a feeling!! Again I had a huge feeling inside, like the universe was whispering to me, but I didn't mentally understand anything. I just felt... something really significant was happening.
And in that book's description of the meaning of the Rune, I got an even deeper, awe-inspiring "hit" of recognition. For those who've never read it:
The Book of Runes wrote:
Sowelu stands for wholeness, that which our nature requires. It embodies the impulse toward self-realization and indicates the path you must follow, not from ulterior motives but from the core of your individuality.
Seeking after wholeness is the Spiritual Warrior's quest. And yet what you are striving to become is what, by nature, you already are. Become conscious of your essence and bring it into form, express it in a creative way. A Rune of great power, making life force available to you, Sowelu marks a time for regeneration down to the cellular level.
I just knew, somehow, that this is why I was here, on earth. It was the first time I ever had a feeling of deep recognition of the purpose of my existence. No religion or sacred teachings ever had an impact of any kind on me before. This bit of text, though, hit me like a ton of bricks. In truth, it was an eerie feeling, as though the entire universe was intimately familiar with me... and I knew nothing about myself.
So anyway, I used the logo above as my business logo for a few years, and as soon as I got a computer, I knew "Sowelu" was the name to use for me. It's been with me ever since.
"The most important decision you have to make is whether you live in a hostile or friendly universe."
~ Albert Einstein
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes. ~Marcel Proust
The evolution of humanity is an evolution of the heart. The path is through the heart.